UPFRONT FROM PAGE 6 tech ads (www.eweek. We’ll find out how senior executives misun-
don’t understand what’s com/c/a/Desktops-and- much Microsoft wants derstood.
going on half the time. Notebooks/Super- it—and how much 6. It’s geek humor.
I thought the Patriots Tech-Ads). Yahoo wants to be part of Somebody thought the
had won the Super Bowl In coming up with sug- Microsoft—in the weeks bid would be a good prac-
when Tom Brady threw gestionsforthelist, some ahead. tical joke on sharehold-
the touchdown pass to of my colleagues and I In the meantime, just ers. “Ha-ha—$44.6 bil-
Randy Moss with a little were amazed at just how eight more weeks till lion. Ridiculous.” Now
more than 3 minutes to many technology ven- opening day at Fenway the joke’s on them—and
go in the fourth quar- dors had run ads dur- Park. it’s not funny.
ing previous Super —Debra Donston 5. Ballmer wants to
Bowls. retire. This is one way
But, at this year’s Microhoo-y? to be offered a severance
Super Bowl? I package.
can think of two: Here are 10 other rea- 4. Microsoft has long
GoDaddy.com’s TV ad sons for Microsoft’s planned to open up a big
for its not-suitable-for- hostile takeover of Yahoo. Silicon Valley campus,
TV ad available online 10. Microsoft executives but real estate costs too
and Dell’s ad for the finally find a way to hire much. On closer exami-
Product (RED) version Yahoo co-founder Jerry nation, Microsoft could
of its XPS laptop. Yang. buy Yahoo for less than
( Ye a h , t h e r e w e r e 9. Ray Ozzie, Microsoft’s ne w p r oper ty. It’s lik e
the eTrade ads with the chief software architect, buying prime Sunnyvale,
talking baby, the Career- is tired of people adding Calif., real estate already
Builder.com ads—espe- up Software Plus Services furnished—and Yahoo is
cially that gross one and getting Google as the free!
where a woman’s heart answer. 3. Ballmer really wanted
ter. “Isn’t it great that it bursts out of her chest— 8. With the U.S. econ- to buy Google, but he has
ended up being Brady and the Cars.com ads, omy sagging, Microsoft gotten used to settling for
and Moss who got the but they’re not technol- executives want to get second best.
winning touchdown, ogy vendors per se.) closer to their customers 2. Top Microsoft man-
after all they’ve done I did get up from the by joining them in debt agers want to give Chair-
all season?” I asked my couch once in a while, (the company will have to man Bill Gatessomething
husband. “They haven’t but it was mostly during really special for
won yet,” he answered. the game, not the com- his retirement.
“Three minutes is a mercials. Did I miss Afterall, whatdo
long time in football.” something, or is the lack you buy for the
Indeed it is … was. of tech vendor ads an world’s second-
The mighty Pats (I am economic indicator? No richest person?
a native New Englander, Intel? No HP? No Apple? Uh-oh. He’s not
after all) fell to the Giants, No Microsoft? s m i l i n g . D i d
who simply seemed to I guess Microsoft was they keep the
want it more. wrapped up with another receipt?
Speaking of wanting kind of advertising—the 1. It’s a typo.
it more, where were the online kind it figures it Microsoft execs
techcompaniesamongthe can dominate with the borrow to buy Yahoo). thought they were bid-
other big competition of acquisition of Yahoo. 7. Microsoft CEO Steve ding on Yoo-hoo to stock
the night—for best, most The announcement of Ballmer jumped up and employees’ free drink
provocative ad? Microsoft’s $44.6 billion down in his office yell- fridges. Now they can’t
In a slide show that re- offer for Yahoo was made ing “Yahoo!” as Google’s back away without losing
cently ran on eweek.com, the Friday before Super s t o c k p r i c e d r o p p e d face.